Ritual Coffee Club Bike Posse

One day three baristas were drunk in Lower Haight when out of nowhere a gay unicorn carrying one small, severely obese and scotched up leprechaun kicked over a barstool. To make a long story short, this actually started the biggest bar brawl since 1972 when Gavin Newsom was tripping balls off some mushrooms he got in Golden Gate at dusk and he grabbed the bar keep's weiner and pointed it at the doorman screaming, "You'll never here the end of this! I have lawyers in Paris!"

As the unicorn swerved wildly to the leave the bar, the drunken baristas noticed a small charm about the leprechaun's neck. It was a 14 karat gold-plated bicycle. And as the tipsy little fat man noticed them staring, he smiled at them and flashed a gold-plated, diamond-studded grill that sparkled like their dreams for the future.

The baristas knew it was a sign. They remounted their bikes and rode post haste to "The Clubhouse," as Ritual is also known. They knew they would build a bike posse to shine above all other bike posses, like a beacon of hope in the cold dark nights in the Mission.

And hence forth that beacon has shone as a symbol of whiskey, I mean love, in the city since that fateful night.

RCCBP POR VIDA